Hello, my name is Ellyce and I am addicted…
…to newborn babies.
A month ago, my twin daughters were finally pulled from my body. With their first cries that pierced the early morning hours ended a gruelling, bed-ridden, anxiety-laden pregnancy; the bursting into existence of my girls was part of the same explosion that has transformed me into a mother… into an addict.
With so little sleep (seriously, the sleep depravation is real), I have been thinking about what makes the time between a parent and newborn so special that for the rest of the child’s life, the parent is constantly reminiscing on these “too fast” newborn baby stages. Here’s what I think:
When a newborn looks at you, there is no questioning the love that they feel for you.
In addition to their tiny needs and sweet-smelling heads, newborn babies are highly addictive because theirs is a love free from motive (footnote: my husband and I debated this point several times. In his opinion, a newborn’s love is motivated by a desire to be fed, changed, and burped. I maintain that a newborn demonstrates a motive-free love, because I don’t think they have the mental capacity yet to link the things they need with their parents yet, just like they are unaware that their own arms are within their control and attached to their bodies).
The love that adults grow accustomed to receiving is full of underlying motive, given and received for reasons like companionship, fear of being alone, sexual satisfaction, etc. In our society this motive is additionally fuelled by a desire to meet stages of a socially-accepted and traditional lifecourse: girl/boyfriend, husband/wife, father/mother. On top of that, for a number of reasons, adults have learned to question the love they receive: “Does this person love me as much as I they?” “Is this person faithful to me? Will it stay that way?” “Will this person hurt me?””What’s in it for them?”
The love received from a baby is free of all of this.
You’ll see if you continue to read my posts that addiction is not something I take lightly. My family has been broken deeply and in several ways by alcohol and drug addiction… thus, when I say that newborn babies are addictive, there is of course a negative side.
The trouble with being addicted to (your own) newborn babies… is that they grow up. They learn that love can be doled out to others, they learn that you, as a parent, are one of a range of things to be loved. The realization, often too late, that drug addicts must come to, that following the enjoyment of an intense high there is an exposed need that cannot be met without further use.
I have been hit with a double dose of newborn babies, and the addiction hooked me good ‘n deep.
Written: October 16, 2016